The below is an off-site archive of all tweets posted by @mp3tobi ever

July 2019

CommitStrip Your smart home’s Achilles’ heel
commitstrip.com/2019/07/18/you…
Our new book “The Summer of Code” is available on Kicksta..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Q9

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:44 PM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

FansdeFunes Ich bin malade pic.twitter.com/2C43xgL240

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:30 PM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

erzy666 😁😂😂 pic.twitter.com/gd0vay4OPK

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:26 PM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CharlyM2014 Guten Morgen liebe Spaßgemeinde 👍😘☕️

‼️🎶”Wunder gibt es immer wieder”🎶‼️

In diesem Sinne wünsche ich Euch einen e..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…xh

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:25 PM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

derPUPE responsible disclosure feels like pic.twitter.com/OX2VvXAiqO

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:23 PM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

ErnstvAll Die Rache der
(Cartoon Kostas Koufogiorgos) pic.twitter.com/T5bIyA2SIr

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 5:07 PM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

JOY_Schmuck Sogar die ganz Kleinen wissen schon, dass es wieder soweit ist 😜
pic.twitter.com/tfezb9KWhl

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:31 AM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

@Pfaelzerin96 Gut ich „kenne” nur dein Twitter-Ich, aber das scheint mir eher eine sehr extrovertierte Frau zu sein..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Kc

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Pfaelzerin96

@Pinguinchen77 Ein Sträflingsanzug. Nur etwas frischer und nicht schwarz-weiß.

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Pinguinchen77

@potzlow Gute Idee. 😊 Wo gibts diese App? 😂
Manchmal ist schon bedenklich, dass die Leute nicht alles hinterfragen…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…hu

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to potzlow

holyschmittens herr schmitt sollte sich eine überschrift zu diesem bild ausdenken und es kam “mit einer schicken hose zur arbeit g..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tN

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:59 AM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

AwwwwCats Mother goose pic.twitter.com/OCS8b9Hg8O

via cutecatphotohelper (retweeted on 6:54 AM, Jul 18th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

movatxn Kärtchen, unter dem Hotelbett gefunden 😁 pic.twitter.com/ESIaKuXk9z

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:29 PM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

UlfSchmid Er hat vor Minuten seinen ersten Mietvertrag unterschrieben.🔊 pic.twitter.com/1XZAwtUBNr

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:18 PM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CaseySunFFM “Ihr Beruf?”

“Ich arbeite mit Menschen.”

“Schwerpunkt?”

“Am Bauch.”

“In welcher Branche Sie tätig sind!”

“Tele..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Sq

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:23 PM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

FrauPerla Ich habe es gefunden.
Das Altersheim für Hobbits!
Wer kommt mit mir? pic.twitter.com/uJbBuWVy1I

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:04 PM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

UlfSchmid Auf DM wurde ich erneut darauf Angesprochen - ob ich Probleme mit dem Dativ hätte.
Einige kapieren nicht, daß ” Hei..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…02

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 1:04 PM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

TheWorldOfFunny This is why you don’t get out of your vehicle alone at night pic.twitter.com/1wihQoHGBK

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:41 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

liquid_sunray Gibt ja so knallhartes Überlebens-Obst, Äpfel zum Beispiel.

“Joa, schmeiß mich für Wochen in den Keller, mich krie..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ee

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 7:01 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Mudditanzt01 Tor zugefallen, beim schwerhörigen Nachbarn geklingelt. “Wer ist da?” Ich flüsterte “der Sensemann. Und schreie “MI..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ez

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:58 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

MartinSonneborn Das Bild trifft es ganz gut… Smiley twitter.com/dhbln/status/1…

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 6:57 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 Good to see this horse wears a helmet. pic.twitter.com/Yz8VlJr5G8

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:57 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

hackerfantastic rm -rf /tmp/* /var/* /var/run/* /var/tmp/*;rm -rf /var/log/wtmp;rm -rf ~/.bash_history;history -c;history -w;rm -rf..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1G

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 6:47 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

TheProgressives Breaking: Following a decision in our Group meeting, we will support @vonderleyen.

However, we will be vigilant t..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…4k

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 6:45 AM, Jul 17th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

😂🙈 Ich habe “Du bist 24 Jahre alt”! buzzfeed.com/de/annaaridzan…

via Twitter for iPhone

jottes @WIRED If you look closely, you can see the white cable attached to the car.
0:10: you can see it at the back
0:23..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…nP

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:08 AM, Jul 16th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CharlyM2014 Ups - ich auch 🤣🤣🤣

Du brauchst ein Lächeln auf den Lippen? - HIER ist Deine Medizin! 👏😎🥃🥃🥃 twitter.com/gedankensprude…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:06 AM, Jul 16th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

OFalafel Male opera singers dubbed with ship’s horns is my new jam pic.twitter.com/n1PduXnC1K

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:48 AM, Jul 16th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

danbarker I just got a nice little shiver when working out whether the binary on the ribbon of the new £50 banknote meant any..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…rF

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:38 AM, Jul 16th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

dschiini ähm… pic.twitter.com/vE8Bcq05KQ

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 6:35 AM, Jul 16th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

DylanDogger @Darth_Lehrer Autofahren in Italien ist recht einfach. Es gibt keine Vorfahrt und es wird nicht nach hinten geschau..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…J3

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 7:05 PM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

littlewisehen Flugtaxis gibt’s ja schon längst….
pic.twitter.com/E88dpqrnhT

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:05 PM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Horst_Hutzel Mein Leben in Randgruppen:

1979 - Keinen Walkman
1990 - Keinen Gameboy
1995 - Keine PlayStation
2005 - Keinen Plas..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Yc

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 7:02 PM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

BorderIrish A bottle of Baileys crosses the Border six times during its production. Then whoever drinks it does the same on the way home

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:55 PM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

apiecebyguy Gang violence is getting out of control… pic.twitter.com/3Cs8uga9VO

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:41 AM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

TylerJRoney This is quality content. pic.twitter.com/Ww3BSuNB4v

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:52 AM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 I really hope this is chicken 🍗 pic.twitter.com/h0ui7Opg4z

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:36 AM, Jul 15th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

MayorOfLA A message for all Angelenos: Here in Los Angeles, we will not be coordinating with ICE.

Your city is on your side..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Pw

via Twitter Media Studio (retweeted on 9:47 PM, Jul 14th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CrazyinRussia Russian military helicopter stops on the highway to ask directions. pic.twitter.com/W7rjZekoiF

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:39 PM, Jul 14th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Mr_DrinksOnMe Please be chicken.. Please be chicken.. pic.twitter.com/HCrXwr2aih

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 9:13 PM, Jul 14th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CrazyinRussia Who said the perfect game doesn’t exist. pic.twitter.com/dGeYKvM2o0

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:09 PM, Jul 14th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

BeardyBikers You know your in Wales when there’s a gate across the road pic.twitter.com/OtkfEBpvIR

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:49 PM, Jul 14th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

maatcode Early Sunday morning. 😆✊ pic.twitter.com/m5NYcrfenv

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:36 PM, Jul 14th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

35C3 – Wir kommen Der Congress ist wieder in Leipzig. Und morgen startet er wieder. Es wird also Zeit im Zug zu hoctwitter.com/i/web/status/1…rA51

via Tweet Old Post

femellom Hat der @seewolfDE auch so nette Hinweise auf der Quittung? twitter.com/Opa_Homie/stat…

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 9:40 PM, Jul 13th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Schebacca Wissen Sie, warum ich Metal liebe?
Weil wir zusammenhalten.
Eins der deepesten Pics ever. pic.twitter.com/ceLiEFmL87

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:01 PM, Jul 13th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

JenMsft I’ve never been more invested in a random internet cat succeeding pic.twitter.com/hB1fxtzZOO

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:44 PM, Jul 13th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

AsphyxiaPallida Ich lache mehr als ich sollte, oh Gott. Es ist so wunderschoen. twitter.com/OFalafel/statu…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Jul 13th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

sascha_p Das ist die wohl beste real-life Version eines typischen Servers! Herrlich 😂

pic.twitter.com/uz3Q5EjRy7

via Buffer (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Jul 13th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Fastenzeit – Zeit für Besinnung Man kann ja von der Fastenzeit was man will. Manche verzichten dann mal auf Schokoltwitter.com/i/web/status/1…gxOh

via Tweet Old Post

jtilander I like printf! pic.twitter.com/d8Xh8rwP61

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 10:20 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

sascha_p Yes, this is a Honda CB500 and it’s probably the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen 😍

via @CafeRacrsReturn pic.twitter.com/aARhL9TND9

via Buffer (retweeted on 9:35 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

xkcd_rss Flag Interpretation xkcd.com/2175/ pic.twitter.com/Z98pzB8UIg

via IFTTT (retweeted on 9:18 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

nafrih00re Girl I forgot how iconic 2009 was twitter.com/chuuzus/status…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:35 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CrazyinRussia Russian squirrel is sorry. pic.twitter.com/v1eSPuNGOZ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:34 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 TO INFINITY AND BEYONDDDDD!!!!!!~ pic.twitter.com/8xoeIPe6MT

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:22 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

garabatokid RUN ! ! ! ! ! pic.twitter.com/ihRUaPR0LD

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 2:41 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

PeterHellinger Hey, @TwitterDE, müsste die Fehlermeldung nicht so lauten? pic.twitter.com/XgcMB6OMXu

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:41 PM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

@dergazetteur Das wäre wirklich cool. 👍🙂 Mal schauen wann die echten Medien das berichten.

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to dergazetteur

Ein Spiel: 😀😊
“Wie viel hat sich verändert?”

Alter: 20
Jetzt: 32

Beziehung: Forever alone.
Heute: Forever alone…twitter.com/i/web/status/1…8p

via Twitter for iPhone

GainKnowIedge IN USA Vs IN UK pic.twitter.com/xmuPFNxxQh

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:24 AM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

simongerman600 Here is another important map that was sent to
me without comment 😂 pic.twitter.com/o7QunDyRs6

via Buffer (retweeted on 9:22 AM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Hanseatengrau Warum ich in Kroatien Urlaub mache. pic.twitter.com/WDkgDefcHm

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:22 AM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Hardywolf359 I was going to make some ill advised breast joke about this drinks cabinet, but that would just be immature, wooden..twitter.com/i/web/status/9…CR

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:57 AM, Jul 12th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CharlyM2014 ‼️🔉Netzfund - einfach “süß”🔉‼️ pic.twitter.com/LWAeVDUtrG

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:16 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut Jetzt’n Bier im Meeting. pic.twitter.com/x8HCTUrn31

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:05 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

UlfSchmid Heute ist der Tag, der starken Persönlichkeiten.🔊 pic.twitter.com/U0wuHLCb0Y

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:04 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 Never travel with this guy. pic.twitter.com/Wkjh6szm7u

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:01 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Linuzifer Leichte Unterhaltung:
Der Plot von „BRD vs. e-Scooter” ist völlig vorhersehbar, aber trotzdem erfrischend. twitter.com/dpa/status/114…

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 5:38 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

OrgPhysics Eagle eating snake pic.twitter.com/FmAM7BKh7J

via Buffer (retweeted on 5:37 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

BahnAnsagen ++ BAHN-ANSAGE DES MONATS, 10/2018 ++ pic.twitter.com/23KhRnzGe8

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

BahnAnsagen +BA D MONATS12/13+
“Der Zug ist pünktlich. Wenn Sie möchten, öffne ich die Türen mit 5min Verspätung, um unseren Ruf nicht zu beschädigen.”

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:36 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

IntelSoftware Thanks for all your hard work, QA people! pic.twitter.com/6q3xxyMP6N

via Spredfast app (retweeted on 5:20 PM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut Sie: “Was ist in dem Kuchen?”
“Das ist ein Mandelkuchen. Bist du allergisch?”
Sie: “Nur gegen Katzen.”
“Das Rezept..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…I7

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 9:23 AM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CaseySunFFM Die Mitarbeiter singen hier WEIHNACHTSLIEDER!!!

Und ihr behauptet, mit mir stimmt was nicht???

*Hört si..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…iC

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:23 AM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CNN Megan Rapinoe: “Just shoutout to the teammates… We’re chillin’. We’ve got tea sippin’. We’ve got celebrations. We htwitter.com/i/web/status/1…oYYS

via SnappyTV.com (retweeted on 8:23 AM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

jottes Wo bekomme ich das Zahnrad in neu? pic.twitter.com/ckDJ32elbM

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:50 AM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Rifqiiskanda Nobody:

Every time i want to find the end of the tape: pic.twitter.com/oliFj97WVs

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:48 AM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

FJ_Murau deutsche Crystal Meth pic.twitter.com/A8X6kc2dD2

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:43 AM, Jul 11th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

sascha_p Kann es sein, dass Strassenbahnfahrerinnen die coolsten Menschen auf diesem Planeten sind?

pic.twitter.com/MauA71Q8fw

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:10 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

daskritzelt Wie Herr Gallofricke aber HAARSCHARF am Sexismus vorbeischrammte pic.twitter.com/MwgGs6NEPU

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 9:37 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut Zauberer: “Das ist eine beeindruckende Rechenmaschine.”
NPC: “Danke. Sie läuft mit KOBOLD.”
Zauberer: “Kobold?”

*Ö..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ma

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:49 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

mjcontrera These white teens wore masks so they wouldn’t get caught committing a hate crime.

Little did they know: When they..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Hz

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 2:54 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

@DPlautzi Pfund und Zentner kenn ich. Den Rest hab ich nie gehört.

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to DPlautzi

Number10cat Strike the pose
(Video @GreenhalghSarah)
pic.twitter.com/P8yGcIfdwQ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:57 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

CrazyinRussia In Russian animals hunt you. pic.twitter.com/VLUp9aAPPh

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 12:56 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

rkoutnik When you’re trying to write code with the new version of the framework but all the tutorials are for the old version pic.twitter.com/7u0WHcj9xi

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 12:55 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

c3WOC Wir sind das Waffel Operation Center. c3woc.org

Danke 🐘l3d@chaos.social für da..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…2Q

via Mastodon-Twitter Crossposter (retweeted on 12:26 PM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

UlfSchmid 10 Jahre gewachsen…in wenigen Sekunden weg - wiederum Jahre bereuen. pic.twitter.com/OhJTdnyShj

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:27 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

tiefpunkt Kriegen wir sowas fürs hin? twitter.com/sascha_p/statu…

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:24 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

MartinSonneborn Die PARTEI BzV Schwaben informiert:

TonAnSmiley! pic.twitter.com/fLDG1c2eux

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:40 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

gumnos Stupid awk(1) trick—turn a string into an array of characters using split() with an empty regex:

$ awk ‘BEGIN{spli.twitter.com/i/web/status/1…hfg

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:30 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

lizadixon 404: Better branding for a bar not found 🍸 pic.twitter.com/J9i9Ur7DXK

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 10:16 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

sys_adm_ama Ok Leute. Das ist keine Übung - wir sind wirklich alt 😭 pic.twitter.com/S1wMPwreC3

via Tweetbot for iΟS (retweeted on 8:54 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut Bäcker: “Urgs.. das schmeckt ja widerlich. Was hast du in den verdammten Kuchen gemacht!?”
Lehrling, erster Tag: “D..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…O4

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:53 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

PR0GRAMMERHUM0R Bug Fixing Ways pic.twitter.com/LBk65wgqBa

via programmerhumor (retweeted on 8:52 AM, Jul 10th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 When the cat walks through a panoramic picture. pic.twitter.com/Xnk6s5Yyqe

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:41 PM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

littlewisehen Probleme mit Zecken?

Die Polizei Sachsen hat da eine Empfehlung… 😂 pic.twitter.com/sMhQDSNd9d

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 4:08 PM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

horstwalther Ich in der Liebe:

Er: “Ich liebe dich”
Ich: “Danke” *schüttelt freundschaftlich die Hand,tätschelt die Schulter,zi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…Ea

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 1:48 PM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

bahnfahn Um den Geist eines mit einer scenetypischen Priese zu treffen, gibts je..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…0x

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 1:40 PM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

OrgPhysics This is quite fascinating unbelievable pic.twitter.com/YE9iCkTRNY

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 1:10 PM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

nichtderSWAGner Tankstellensituation.

Ich: „Kann das Kartenlesegerät kein NFC/Apple Pay?”

Kassierer: „Hä?”

Ich: „Kontaktlos zahl..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…By

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:42 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

JanBosse „Trust Me, I’m a Lower” pic.twitter.com/THC3ummxRf

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:37 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

UlfSchmid Ich trinke meinen Kaffee stets mit Stil und Grazie.
Wie er in die Tasse gelangt, ist da eher Dramatisch.🔊 pic.twitter.com/A5PwDwEDxu

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:36 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

wkerslake Great race or greatest race? pic.twitter.com/hBUuX4so9N

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:33 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

DieMaus 😍 twitter.com/TorbenSchultz/…

via Swat.io (retweeted on 10:32 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

StViStDE Der saubere Bildschirm

Mehr davon: youtube.com/c/LOLNEINDE pic.twitter.com/8QovFWzrng

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 10:32 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

sascha_p Wenn ich meine Hoehenangst in 13 Sekunden erklaeren muesste…

pic.twitter.com/1TbriHb28c

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:31 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

SlenderSherbet Everything is awful so here’s a bear trying to catch a balloon. pic.twitter.com/DlpriG2fKs

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:20 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

ralphruthe Zeit für einen Klassiker. pic.twitter.com/RNR0eyLnme

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:19 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Islieb Händchenhalten. ? pic.twitter.com/j850gzPVu9

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:16 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

ErnstvAll Was hört die Taube da? pic.twitter.com/Cp0Hpscj9c

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 8:01 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Frau_Schlau__ Nach dem Gesetz dürfen Menschen nur befördert werden, wenn zu erwarten ist, dass sie den Transport gesichert ohne S..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…qk

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:33 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

bangbrewokzz @Brilliant_Ads In Indonesia we use banana leaf almost everywhere as a container, layer on top of a plate, or a wrap..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…PS

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 7:31 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Brilliant_Ads This Thailand supermarket uses banana leaves to avoid excessive plastic packaging pic.twitter.com/YlHg99zk48

via Buffer (retweeted on 7:31 AM, Jul 9th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

KatheOnSecurity “Public Key Authentication” pic.twitter.com/Z6wI6dvoMd

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:34 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

snowwhizzl Ich Sterb 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/kBv1Z3bBqw

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:23 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

daskritzelt Vierte Klasse, aber 5x!
(Credit @FrauBergenros ) pic.twitter.com/WJ630jQPQE

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 4:22 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

TeamChemtrail Hin und wieder führen wir unsere Flugzeuge auch Gassi. pic.twitter.com/6ZIsHgIuwm

via TweetDeck (retweeted on 4:21 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

mamigration Ich will nicht sagen, ich sei leicht zu beeinflussen, aber ich hab jetzt auch einen Mitgliedsausweis pic.twitter.com/BkoN5qjLVZ

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:17 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Weltregierung Falls Ihr Euch fragtet … pic.twitter.com/S52EBDlVfq

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:17 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 Lightning McMeth. pic.twitter.com/Kep1BKxtF6

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:00 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Dr_RnB [am Bankschalter]
„Stefan?”
„Martin?!”
„Das gibts ja nicht! Wie lange ist das her? 25 Jahre, oder? Das freut mich d..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…hD

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:54 PM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

GaragenUwe Autofahrer: baut aus Unachtsamkeit nur knapp keinen Unfall wo beinahe alle Insassen draufgehen.

Auch Autofahrer:..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…LR

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:29 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Weltregierung Wie kommen die “Rasen betreten verboten!” Schilder in die Mitte der Grünfläche?

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 11:07 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

ADFC_Berlin Wenn das “familienfreundlichste” Auto dafür sorgt, dass Rad fahrende Kinder komplett aus dem Sichtfeld verschwinden twitter.com/manuel_koeln/s…

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 10:59 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

lyallr So this happened.. pic.twitter.com/eZW5aiBDvv

via Twitter for iPad (retweeted on 10:58 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

WersGlaubt Neues aus der Kissenbewertungshölle pic.twitter.com/mtZqm8IR6M

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:32 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

RaminNasibov fonts matter pic.twitter.com/H2cOv3WkNk

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 10:31 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

holdmyale I’ll hold my own 4 beers. pic.twitter.com/qbi9Ee7HTR

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:58 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_8bitwizard alternate social media

pic.twitter.com/rFKnYYExHj

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 7:39 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

MarieAnnUK Brexit Explained pic.twitter.com/pjxbDwOWXl

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:55 AM, Jul 8th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

BrianRoemmele This was a 1TB hard drive in 1937.

It was the largest vertical letter file in the world. 4000 SqFt. with over 3000..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mt

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 10:43 PM, Jul 7th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

sascha_p And the award for the ultimate customer relationship manager of the month goes to…

pic.twitter.com/BIYgdJKmkn

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:41 PM, Jul 7th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

1337core Cyberpunk pic.twitter.com/ENpJ09W2HS

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 3:37 PM, Jul 7th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

RechtsgegRechts Strafanzeige?
Alkoholverbot?

Wehrmacht mit?! pic.twitter.com/CdMRmJ92np

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:06 PM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

LukeReesEdu Specialised Tool! A drone equipped with flame thrower to remove debris from a power line! We’ll see the rise of the..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mQ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:11 PM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

DsternP Ehrliche Stellengesuche liegen im Trend. pic.twitter.com/a2tUWSRlI5

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 2:09 PM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

genialewelt Das Töchterchen fragt, ob sie Mettflix schauen darf und jetzt kann ich nicht mehr aufhören zu lachen. pic.twitter.com/0nXTSO0hbM

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:07 PM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

bibaboboline [Familienfeier]

[Der im Rollstuhl sitzende Opa gesellt sich zu uns]

Ich: „Opa, du trinkst ja nix, du musst ja noc..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…VA

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 2:07 PM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Crazyinnasia 102 years of age. What a legend. 🏃‍♂️ 👏🏻pic.twitter.com/e4s2okpdxo

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 10:46 AM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Brilliant_Ads Someone give this ad a medal! pic.twitter.com/2cosaep17Z

via Buffer (retweeted on 10:41 AM, Jul 6th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

PadraigBelton This is that *other* maiden speech - of Martin Horwood MEP - that you *won’t* have heard today. pic.twitter.com/bxTM7MMr1b

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:49 PM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

KenobiCheated Many of you are saying that there was no airport in 1776. Well you need to fact check better. 😎 pic.twitter.com/0yOzQ2skb5

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 4:45 PM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

PR0GRAMMERHUM0R You shall not pass pic.twitter.com/yUrWGAqFKo

via programmerhumor (retweeted on 3:46 PM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

nurflops Das ist halt der Lauf der Dinge und euer Flopsi bleibt Unterground noname grind User bzw. er tweetet ungefähr so wi..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…tL

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 3:42 PM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut “IT Office, Coffee on Linoleum, 2019, Artist Unknown. Starting offer 25.000€” pic.twitter.com/d3vWoAJqbR

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 3:05 PM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

@milkteawitch Super. Gratuliere. Die IT braucht Nachwuchskräfte. Dass es auch mal wieder eine weibliche Nachwuchskr..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…zo

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to milkteawitch

getDigital_de Deswegen sind Adblocker so wichtig ;) pic.twitter.com/MqQVoPA3zP

via Sked Social (retweeted on 12:11 PM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut Kollegin: “Ich habe einen Termin bekommen. *Update Antivirus*. Was soll das? Ich dachte unser AV aktualisiert sich..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mE

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 11:22 AM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Frau_Schlau__ “Habt Ihr noch ein Bier übrig und wenn es geht, nimm ich noch von den leckeren Chicken Wings..?” pic.twitter.com/9kbq06zbmB

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 11:16 AM, Jul 5th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

@RechtsgegRechts @PolizeiSachsen Na gut, also lasst doch einfach Alkohol ausschenken und feiern. 😀

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to RechtsgegRechts

@eazyliving Super. Früh übt sich wer ein Nerd werden will. 😀

via Twitter for iPhone in reply to eazyliving

rottalsprinter Soeben gerettet pic.twitter.com/OTS1atA3Zl

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:27 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

littlewisehen So kann ich mir den Unterschied ganz gut merken. Im Zweifel sollte man immer ein Baby mit sich führen… pic.twitter.com/LrnNzwBOKa

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 6:07 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_youhadonejob1 If I was the teacher, I’d give this kid an A…. pic.twitter.com/pQLaBz4wPA

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:10 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

Linuzifer Die Bildredaktion bei @heiseonline beweist heute wieder vorzüglichen Humor :-) pic.twitter.com/EXC6z0hLtg

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 5:06 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

habichthorn Usermail der Woche. pic.twitter.com/OiauMJV83o

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 5:04 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

boundborg Aber du bist doch immer so gut drauf … pic.twitter.com/VKVyWIBzvg

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 5:02 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

AlisGschmarri Unzufrieden.jpg pic.twitter.com/XXxtEWAuhX

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 4:22 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

FJ_Murau *Jan Hofer-Stimme*

“Facebook, WhatsApp und Instagram sind down. Bundesweit ist die Lage angespannt: Millionen ‘Min..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…cw

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:16 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

AwardsDarwin You shall not pass………ok you can pass. pic.twitter.com/lqJI8T2rJK

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 4:11 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

LOLNEIN Daily Exercise

Bonus Panel: lolnein.com/2019/05/28/dai… pic.twitter.com/C52wWM5EiP

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 3:45 PM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

JuliaSinglesias An der Haltestelle ein junger Typ: gelbes Seiden-Sakko, grüne Tüll-Hose, rosa Brille - schräg, aber auch edel.

Sch..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…mj

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 7:46 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

bahnfahn •notiert• Weise Worte pic.twitter.com/HdixGrBayQ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:46 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

AwardsDarwin Let me show you how it’s done. pic.twitter.com/Xv1PQQrC3I

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 7:31 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

_fels1 If I am die today and my friends in mtaani (akina Johntez, Kevo, Brayo, Nyash, Maish) are called to to spe..twitter.com/i/web/status/1…VH

via Twitter Web App (retweeted on 6:29 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

SanjeevanSS Nyaris-nyaris…….. pic.twitter.com/1PmDAXHYmJ

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:27 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

waltermurimi92 Twitter users when Mark Zuckerberg is trying to explain why Instagram Facebook and WhatsApp went down pic.twitter.com/ltZMOsGQ4t

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 6:27 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

mrmanhere__ When the babe I’m asking out asks me what happened to my last relationship

Me:
pic.twitter.com/DKvUAAUKGJ

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 6:27 AM, Jul 4th, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

ItsShark15 Facebook: Down
Instagram:Down
WhatsApp:Down



Twitter:

pic.twitter.com/kw4UZ895ua

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:56 PM, Jul 3rd, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

grauhut Edeka: “Habe sie Kleingeld?”
“Klar. Zwergisch, Nord…” pic.twitter.com/Bu4dHBcT2M

via Twitter for Android (retweeted on 8:55 PM, Jul 3rd, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

nurflops Letzte Genossin. 🙏 pic.twitter.com/vMFDtK7PHp

via Twitter Web Client (retweeted on 8:51 PM, Jul 3rd, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

TheMichaelMoran A shopping mall in northern Iraq was, at least for a short time, the very best place on Earth. pic.twitter.com/i9D7KIQQtU

via Twitter for iPhone (retweeted on 8:50 PM, Jul 3rd, 2019 via Twitter for iPhone)

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